Seagulls

I loved listening to my sister’s stories about traveling. Her favorite spots in the Caribbean and her destinations across the west coast of America. She often shared how interesting her road trips were to Boston, New York, Florida and the cities across Interstate 70. Among a few others that filled her with laughter were the Bahamas and the surrounding islands of Hawaii.

We both admired the ethnic attractions that exist beyond Chicago. We enjoyed sharing the joys of the worldly wonders and learning about other cultures. Reflecting back on our fun times and checking off our bucket list of destinations we’ve been to and where we plan on visiting next. These conversations were fun and brought us closer on random days paired with delicious homemade appetizers, chamomile tea and cream puffs.

Ah! Such a memorable thing to do with a sister!

Inspiring and so promising…

Iza could do this forever. Spend her days by the calming waters underneath the heated sky. Her toes tickled by the beach sand. The fresh breeze sweeping her worries away. The waves distracting her from life’s stress. The sound of seagulls uplifting her spirit and bringing peace to her heart. Living in the moment. Within her zone. Her feng shui.

A balance of love, peace and harmony which she now has in abundance above.

Her early thirties were her best years of all. Even though cancer was already invading her youth, creating a devastating chapter in her life, she blossomed daily. She was full of energy, overflowing with a desire to keep living. Never thinking about the illness that would end her life in less than a decade. She was tough, unbreakable in all ways. Her psychological core was the strongest I’ve ever witnessed. And her free-spirited way of life is what helped her survive her nearing breast cancer journey.

I still wonder why she kept this life-threatening illness from us for so long. Rarely bringing up this cruel battle that began to take over. Why go through this alone? Why distance herself from family and friends? Why? Her support network would’ve been beautiful. Sooner. Much sooner…

Was she ready for heaven way sooner than we thought? Did her conversations with God put her at ease and erase her worries about dying? Perhaps she was excited about eternity and couldn’t wait. Most likely eternal paradise was on her mind for months before she passed and we couldn’t quite grasp it at that time.

Not us. But she did. Maybe because she was already in the “unseen world.”

I still ask God many questions. Did she want to grow old? Travel the world? Have tropical drinks in Cancun with her little sister by the beach? Swing in a hammock with seagulls singing beside us? Enjoy Sunday afternoon frothy lattes on her balcony? Make hearty stews on Friday nights? Pack a picnic and head out to Wisconsin? Bike along Lake Shore Drive at sunrise? Camp out in the peaceful Adirondack mountains? Perhaps run the Boston marathon in her 60s?

How about simply grow old with her little sister? Just that…

Oh I wish for that so much…

Yet hoping for that will not change things now. No matter how much I wish a hundred things could’ve gone differently, they didn’t. All this happened just like it was supposed to. God made an eternal promise within her heart way before any of us knew it. Before my sister ever knew what His plans were for her. Everything turned out just like it should have. As planned by God. And for that, I am blessed. She lives in peace just as God promised. And that peace radiates within me through her.

Beaming forever in my heart…

Always within reach. Wherever life takes me…

I recently visited Cancun and everywhere I turned there were seagulls beside me. They sang so beautifully and brought comforting peace within my heart. I know Iza sent them my way to assure I was safe and happy, hundreds of miles away from home. And honestly, I felt her presence the entire time I was there. Among the clouds, sunlight, skies, within the waves, breeze, rain and all around. I knew she was close.

Such a mystical presence…

I am so happy that eternity doesn’t know cancer. My sister will never have to relive those last few months of her life in such agony. She is now free. Like a bird exploring new beginnings. Fearless. Like seagulls flocking the ocean shores. Her spiritual body is now healed and cancer will not invade her ever again. Heaven is immune to this deathly toxin and no one there knows any suffering. Now that’s something to look forward to.

A cancer-free eternal life with Jesus beside us.

Breathtaking…

All I know and remember most about my sister is how strong she was. Every day. Every moment she had left with us. And for that I am so grateful. So proud of her fight til the end. Her strength. Her courage which taught me so much. It changed me and helped me grow. She strengthened me like never before. Entirely. And I will never be the same thanks to her. She was my hero and forever will be.

Thank you for being my spiritual strength and sending seagulls my way.

Heaven’s beautiful messengers…

Love you!